Nurturing Gratitude in Children and Families

By Katlyn Gotschall, MS, LCPC

November often invites us to slow down. The air grows cooler, routines settle into a familiar rhythm, and many families turn their attention toward the upcoming holidays. Even though life can feel busy during this time of year, November also brings a natural reminder to reflect on what we appreciate. Gratitude becomes a theme we hear at school, around the dinner table, and in our communities.

Many parents hope to raise grateful children, but teaching gratitude is more than encouraging kids to say thank you. Authentic gratitude is a deeper awareness of what we have, who we love, and the moments that matter. It helps children develop empathy, emotional resilience, and a stronger sense of connection to others. For families, gratitude can strengthen relationships and create calm during seasons that may
otherwise feel overwhelming.

This month’s article explores what gratitude looks like in childhood, how families can build a culture of thankfulness, and how practicing gratitude together can support both emotional and mental well-being.

Understanding Gratitude in Children

Gratitude is not always natural for children. Younger kids are often focused on the present moment and their immediate wants, so the concept of being thankful for what they already have grows slowly over time. Gratitude is a skill that expands with age, experience, and modeling from adults.

Children learn gratitude through repeated exposure: seeing it, hearing it, practicing it, and feeling it. When we express appreciation in front of them, include them in conversations about what we value, or recognize kindness in everyday moments, they begin to see gratitude as part of normal life. Over time, gratitude becomes less of something they recite and more of something they feel.

The Benefits of Gratitude for Families

Gratitude has a meaningful impact on both children and adults. Children who regularly practice gratitude tend to show more empathy, handle frustration better, and develop stronger relationships with peers, teachers, and family members. They also learn patience, generosity, and the ability to see things from another person’s perspective.

For families, gratitude creates a shared emotional foundation. It can reduce tension, increase moments of connection, and help everyone stay grounded during stressful seasons. When gratitude becomes part of a family’s daily rhythm, it has the power to shift the atmosphere in the home. Even on hard days, gratitude can create space for comfort and understanding.

Making Gratitude a Family Practice

Gratitude does not grow overnight. It builds little by little, through simple and consistent moments. Families do not have to adopt complicated routines or long lists of activities. Small acts can make a big difference.

The first step is modeling gratitude. Children learn the most from what they observe. When parents express appreciation regularly, kids begin to mimic that behavior. Saying things like, “I’m so thankful we get to have dinner together,” or “I really appreciated when you helped your sister earlier,” shows children what gratitude sounds like in everyday life.

It can also help to create space in the daily routine for grateful reflection. Some families choose to talk about something they appreciated that day during dinner or bedtime. Others may point out simple joys in the moment, like a warm blanket, a beautiful sunset, or a kind gesture from a neighbor. These observations help children recognize that gratitude exists in small moments, not only in big celebrations.

Encouraging Children to Express Gratitude

Children often need help putting their feelings into words. Encouraging them to talk about their experiences helps deepen their understanding of gratitude. You might ask open-ended questions such as, “What made you feel happy today?” or “Who helped you today? 

When children learn to identify moments of kindness, connection, or joy, they begin to associate gratitude with emotional awareness. Over time, they become more comfortable expressing appreciation on their own.

It is also important to avoid pressuring children to feel grateful. Gratitude should never be forced. Instead of saying, “You should be grateful,” try guiding them toward reflection. For example, “What part of today are you glad happened?” helps them look inward without feeling judged.

The Role of Traditions and Rituals

November is filled with traditions, both old and new. These traditions can be wonderful opportunities to strengthen gratitude within the family. Rituals create a sense of belonging and comfort, and when gratitude becomes part of these rituals, it deepens their meaning.

Families might choose to create a gratitude jar where everyone places notes about what they appreciate. Some families take time each week to name three things they’re thankful for. Others might create art projects, write letters of appreciation, or cook a meal together for someone in their community.

The goal is not to create perfect rituals but meaningful ones. Simplicity is often best. Children value being included, feeling heard, and knowing their efforts matter.

Teaching Empathy Through Gratitude

Gratitude and empathy are deeply connected. When children learn to appreciate what they have, they also begin to recognize the needs and feelings of others. This awareness helps them show compassion, generosity, and kindness.

When a child says, “I’m glad my friend shared with me,” it creates an opening to talk about how sharing makes both people feel. When a child thanks a teacher, they learn that relationships are based on mutual care. These small moments become building blocks for emotional intelligence.

Parents can also encourage empathy by highlighting when others show kindness. Statements like, “It was thoughtful of your friend to help you today,” or “That person must have felt so happy when you did that,” help children connect their actions to someone else’s emotions.

In this way, gratitude becomes more than a feeling. It becomes a practice of noticing others and caring for them.

Gratitude During Difficult Times

Gratitude is often easiest when life feels good. But it can be even more powerful during hard seasons. Families may face stress, grief, financial challenges, or emotional strain, especially during the colder months of the year. In those moments, gratitude is not about pretending everything is okay. It is about finding small places of comfort and connection, even when circumstances are difficult.

Children who witness their parents practicing gratitude during stressful times learn that hard emotions and appreciation can exist together. A parent might say, “Today was a tough day, and I’m still thankful we could spend time together tonight.” This shows children that gratitude is not about ignoring pain, but about noticing support and love even in struggle.

This kind of emotional modeling builds resilience. Children learn that challenging seasons do not erase the presence of goodness.

Creating a Culture of Thankfulness Year-Round

Although November is often viewed as the season of gratitude, these skills can be nurtured throughout the entire year. Gratitude becomes most powerful when it becomes a part of daily life.

Families can create a “thankfulness habit” by noticing ordinary joys. Gratitude grows when the focus stays on connection rather than comparison. It grows when children hear appreciation instead of pressure, and when parents practice kindness toward themselves as well.

When gratitude becomes part of a family’s culture, it strengthens connection. It creates space for patience, empathy, and respect. And in a world where children often feel pressure to do more and be more, gratitude brings a sense of calm and grounding. It reminds families that what matters most is not perfection, but presence.

Final Thoughts

As November encourages us to reflect on what we value most, it also reminds us that gratitude is not something that appears on its own. It is taught, nurtured, and modeled. It grows through encouragement, honest conversations, and shared moments.

Raising grateful children is not about insisting on good manners or forcing appreciation. It is about helping children recognize the goodness around them and within them. It is about showing them how to slow down, notice small joys, and understand the impact of kindness.

Families do not need grand gestures or elaborate traditions to grow gratitude. Small, consistent practices are what shape children into thoughtful, compassionate, and emotionally aware individuals.

This season, I hope your family finds opportunities to share moments of thankfulness, whether in quiet reflection or joyful celebration. Gratitude is a gift that grows with time, and it becomes stronger when we cultivate it together